And Straight on 'Till Morning

Tuesday night I managed to get home from work before 6 and  I didn't have any other commitments. It was a perfect chance to get some things done that I've been putting off. *Yes I see you giant pile of laundry!* However, when I got home my roommate was busily putting together a new over the toilet organizer for our bathroom because the one we had in there before was old and ugly. She asked me to take apart the old one and throw it away. I admit that I had great fun with this process. *Insert video of me smashing the shelves with a hammer.* By the time I was done there were little nails, scraps of wood, and lots of sawdust (and regular dust) all over the toilet, the sink, and the floor. I knew I couldn't handle it if the mess remained for several days so I went and got the dust pan and broom and swept up the debris. That's when the crazy brain kicked in. Crazy Brain: "The wall behind the toilet is a mess to. It probably hasn't been cleaned in years. Yo...

There's a girl in my ward named Haley, and she is one of my favorite people. She was baptised just a few months ago, but she has jumped into the church and the gospel with so much enthusiasm. I love listening to her share her experiences and her testimony. Today during fast and testimony meeting she got up to bear her testimony about Relief Society and the gift of the Holy Ghost and how it helps her continue to build her testimony of various aspects of the gospel. Right at the beginning she said thanks for listening to another month of "things I have a testimony of." I liked the phrase and the idea so much that I thought I'd write about it. *I almost wrote " share it" but then I realized that no one actually reads this so really it's just for me .* I am so grateful that this is not a gospel that requires us to have testimonies of every principle all at once. There are days when I'm not sure if I really deeply believe anything. I'm not usually ...

Thursday was a pretty bad day for me. I was feeling really anxious so concentrating at work was really difficult. *Explaining those conditions would take too many words so just imagine or extrapolate for yourselves.* I also felt like I was being attacked in that I couldn't do anything right and everyone felt the need to tell me what I'd done wrong. *Once again I could go into a description of the spiralling thoughts, but that is not the point of this story.* Adding to the previous points I was also worried because I'm scheduled to take the audit section of the CPA exam on Saturday (tomorrow) and I really didn't feel prepared or able to put in the time to study without having a full on meltdown. Forward to me getting up the courage to email my manager and ask if I could change my PTO (paid time off), which was scheduled for next Monday and Tuesday, to this Friday and next Friday. Now I know it sounds like a simple thing, and I had perfectly good reasons that the ch...

The closing night of the Savior of the World production that I was a part of was last Friday. I've really felt a sense of family and comfort with the cast and crew throughout the rehearsals and performances and I wasn't ready to let go. After our final performance we all worked together to take down the set and clean up the stage area. It took a while, and I was grateful since I didn't really want to leave. After we were done there were a few people still there the adults and YSAs (young single adults) were standing around talking, but I opted to play tag and a few other games with the kids instead. Really it’s just easier for me to interact with kids because all they expect of me is my attention and a sense that I actually care about them. (Adults are much more complicated.) Finally parents called to their kids and everyone started to leave. As I was walking out our set guy asked for someone to come back and lock the gate behind him after he pulled the truck out. I was ...

Yesterday I pulled my extra set of sheets out of the trunk at the foot of my bed to re-make it. Having been folded for several weeks they were quite wrinkled. As I put the flat sheet on the top, the crazy part of my brain thought, "You should iron that top sheet. It would look so much nicer!" Then the realistic/sarcastic part of my brain cut in, "Are you kidding? You'd get halfway done, give up, and then not even finish making the bed." Long story short, I did not iron the sheet, but I did finish making the bed.

I had a literary turn of mind this morning as my cramps started. My cramps always start right before I start bleeding, and I've always wondered if cramps are just my uterus being angry at me for not being pregnant. Now I'm not the one choosing to ovulate each month so she can't be mad at me, but this thought stream had me imagining what my uterus would say if she could talk. The Menstrual Cycle: A Monologue by My Uterus *OVULATION* “Ooh look, an egg! I must be about to grow a baby! I’d better build up a huge cocoon of softness to protect it.” *ALMOST TWO WEEKS LATER* “Hmmm, this baby isn’t really doing any growing… I wonder what’s up. Wait… this was a trick! I’m not growing a baby! I grew all this squishy gross stuff for nothing! GET OUT!!! *CRAMPS* “Ahh, all that squishy gross stuff is gone. I’m never doing that again!” *A WEEK OR SO LATER* *OVULATION* “Ooh look another egg! I’m sure it will actually grow to be a baby this time. I’ll start on...

When I'm feeling anxious it usually gets progressively worse over time. When I've had a bad day or two I'm often very, very anxious by my second class of the day. (Kind of sad when my second class starts at 9 in the morning.) This seems to happen especially on Mondays and Wednesdays for some reason. My brain is often going, going, gone by the time I get to my financial accounting class. Monday was one of those days. I sat through class, but my mind wasn't there, so instead I wrote a few poems. Now, I am not a poet, but they do describe how I was feeling. Just hide in your mind, it's the only safe place. If you let yourself go, then you won't have to face the fears and the freezing, the tears and the pain. You'll be safe in your mind and you'll keep yourself sane. Constricting and squeezing, everything's tight. My mind is in panic. My body must fight. If I hold it together then no one will know of the panic inside me. ...

I have clearly never been very good at this whole blogging thing. It's a good thing I never tried to do it as a business, or I'd have been broke a long time ago. :) However, sometimes I just need a place to put my thoughts or a way to let other people see what/how I'm thinking. It also seems like a somewhat less threatening/scary way to tell people I love what's going on in my life. Instead of having to call and talk and answer questions, and try to think through and understand the stuff in my head all at once so I can explain it to them I can write it down. Then they don't have to read it. I don't have to try to explain it in one go. It sounds like a pathetic excuse to avoid human interaction, but I promise it's not. It's just what works for me when it comes down to the hard stuff. I also have it lucky because as long as I don't have to know who's reading this, I don't care. I'm fine being open with my thoughts and problems, even with co...

I realized that I haven't written anything since I got home from my mission. I'll try to get more up some other time, but for now here's the talk I gave in Sacrament Meeting Today. :) Sunday 24 August 2014 The very first and most basic doctrine that we teach in the missionary lessons is that God is our Heavenly Father. He knows us and loves us and wants us to be happy. Because He is our father He knows the things that will help us to achieve happiness. That is why He gave us the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Nephi explained it this way: “And now, behold, my beloved brethren, this is the   way; and there is   none   other way nor   name   given under heaven whereby man can be saved in the kingdom of God. And now, behold, this is the   doctrine   of Christ, and the only and true doctrine of the   Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, which is   one God, without end. Amen.” – 2 Nephi 31:21 This concept is so straightforward that it s...

Me and Jackie! I found her at the beginning of my mission, and later she was taught and got baptized. Now at the end of my mission she ended up back in my ward. Picture 1: This was a zone water balloon activity that turned into a water balloon fight. It was possibly the funnest 5 minutes of my mission!   Departing missionary temple trip. It was so good to get to go to the temple again. I got to play the organ for our chapel session, and the Spirit in the temple is always so strong. Our Zone is the funniest Zone ever. :) And we all love each other tons as you can see.   Last Zone Training Meeting ever! Luckily it was one of the best I've ever had on my mission. Our zone is the best, and we've had so much fun together. Hermana Jensen, Oscar, Edilberto, Enio, and me. Our wonderful recent converts who fellowship each other and all wore white shirts and ties (Enio took his off...)

Buenas Tardes!   This week has been SO short. I also didn't bring my journal so I'm not sure how much I'll be able to remember of what happened.   Wednesday  we had an exchange with the Hermana Training Leaders. I got to go to Van Nuys with Hermana Larsen. The first thing we did was service. We got to pick up trash around the government center in Van Nuys, and it was so much fun! It was also a great exchange because I got to go back to a lot of places/people that I'd worked with on exchanges last December when I was an Hermana Training Leader. Specifically we had dinner with one Hermana who I'd had dinner with before. Back then she was less active, but her goal was to get her temple recommend back. Now she is active, helps with the missionary work, and drives several other Hermanas from the ward to the temple every month. We also had 3 miracles in a row earlier in the day after we'd had a very unsuccessful hour or so of knocking. Miracle #1 was that the...

Buenos Dias!   This week has been pretty good. Tuesday we had O's baptismal interview, and he PASSED!!! We also had a random cita with Y and A. They texted us to ask if we could come since A was home from work which was great since we haven't been able to see her for a few weeks now thanks to her variable work schedule.   Wednesday we rode bikes in the morning to search for members and referrals that we need to find. I love biking! It is so much easier to talk to people, and it just feels good. :) We also had a great lesson with O and started teaching him Lesson 5 (Laws and Ordinances) from Preach My Gospel chapter 3. They recently made some adjustments to missionary work, including that Lesson 5 must be taught before baptism as well as afterwards. I love it because it helps us focus so much more on enduring to the end, and ensures that our investigators really want to be baptized and then remain active in the church and the gospel for the rest of their...

Buenas Tardes, We had three citas this morning, so we're emailing way later than normal. I am TIRED! It's crazy how much missionaries can fit into one day when they want to. Things are going well here, and we've seen a lot of miracles. We also got my helmet and bike lock back from the elder who was borrowing them so we'll be able to bike a little bit this week. :) I'm excited! This afternoon after sports with our zone I got to try out Elder Speth's bike. He rides a fixie which is where the bike has no gears, just every time the pedals go around so does the wheel. It's crazy! You literally can't stop until you slow all the way down. I unfortunately didn't bring my journal with me today, so I don't have much to report. I will try to fill you all in better next week. Esta iglesia es la iglesia verdadera de Cristo en el mundo. Lo se porque he preguntado al Padre y el me ha contestado mediante su Santo Espiritu. Se que Jose Smith era ...

Buenas,   Monday was a fun day. We had a couple of lessons and got to play flag football with our zone. I only got to play for the first half though because I got injured. Nothing serious, but somehow the side of my face collided with the top of someone else's head and I bit a chunk out of my right cheek on the inside. Surprisingly it didn't really hurt that much, but I had to stop to rinse my mouth out, and it swelled up quite a bit. By today it's almost completely healed.   Tuesday morning Hna Jensen and I went to iHop and bought .56 cent pancakes for breakfast before district meeting. It was their 56th anniversary or something. District meeting after was good, and the rest of the day went well. We had a lesson with E (one of our recent converts) about the priesthood and committed him to wear a white shirt and tie to church on Sunday so that he can eventually bless and pass the sacrament. Then we had dinner with him and Hna M and her husband. ...

Buenos Dias a Todos!   This week has been crazy! Monday we played sports with the district, then we had couple of citas, and at night Hna Christensen packed. I just watched her and felt weird that I wasn't the one packing. I haven't ever had a companion get transferred away from me while I stayed in the area, so it was weird...   Tuesday was transfer meeting. It was crazy because we had to help take up some luggage for the YSA hermanas since they both got transferred so we packed everything in super tight (thank you mom for the jigsaw packing skill genes). Then we went up for the new trainer meeting for Hna Christensen, and I ended up hanging out with a bunch of elders for an hour or so since there weren't any other hermanas there. After transfers were over Hna Christensen ended up with Hna Avila (the new missionary) in El Camino! It's crazy because that's where she started her mission. She's in a different area now, but the same ward...

TRANSFERS ARE HAPPENING!!!!   Yes I know it seems dramatic, but that's how it comes across in my head. :) This is the first time ever that my companion is getting transferred and I'm not... It's kind of a weird feeling that she's packing everything up and I'm leaving all my stuff here.   Anyway, it's kicking me off, but I'll try to send more later or next week.   Love,   Hna Hardy

1 S was SO excited and happy to be baptized! After she left the font and went into the bathroom to change she just kept saying how happy she was that she was finally clean and how grateful to God she was that she could finally be clean. 2 It really is a group effort to help anyone join the church. We needed our district and friends for S all to help her gain a testimony and take this step. 3 It will continue to be a group effort from here on out. This is S and Hermano G who baptized her. He is also her home teacher! Yes, the ward assigned home teachers and visiting teachers before she was baptized so that they could come to the baptism and so that S would have a connection with the person who baptized her after the baptism.       So, this week Hermana Christensen and I walked to Pacoima. I'm not sure how far it is exactly, but it's probably between 2.5 and 3 miles. You'd think that wouldn't take that long, but we tried to talk...

One of the hermanas in Marin's area is from Meridian, just a few miles from us. Hermana Larsen's mom sent this photo from one of their exchanges. Marin hadn't mentioned this cool coincidence, but I think it happened recently. I think that because Marin colored her hair very recently.

Buenos Dias,   S is getting baptized!!!! We finished going over the baptismal questions with her on Saturday and she had her interview on Sunday right after church. Elder Speth said she's incredibly prepared (which we already knew) and she can get baptized next Sunday !!! She is the cutest most faithful woman you have ever met! We taught her about tithing, and even though she has never made very much money, just recently lost her job, and is never really sure how she's going to make ends meet she told us how excited she is to get another job so she can start paying tithing. It just made sense to her that we would give back 10% to the Lord.   She has responded that way to everything we teach her. Just the other day she reminded us that she hasn't been drinking any coffee since we taught her the Word of Wisdom, "Puro jugo y agua!" It is also incredible to watch as she pushes herself to read several verses in the Book of Mormon by herself every ...

Buenos Dias,   This week we had a bunch of dinners with members. I'm not sure what happened, but all of a sudden everyone wanted us to come over for dinner.   On Monday we had a slight mix-up. On Sunday , two hermanas had invited us over for Monday night, but I told one of them that we could only come for a Noche de Hogar (FHE) because we already had a dinner, and confirmed dinner with the other family. Somehow though they didn't understand... The Hermana we were supposed to have a Noche de Hogar with ended up working that night, and the other family thought that we'd already had dinner so they only had cake (and an apple for me instead). It was quite funny, but it was good to talk with them and encourage them in their missionary work. They actually had several people that they wanted to introduce to missionaries (all in different areas but still exciting). It was great to see their desire to do the work and help others learn about the gospel.  ...